Message to Wei Jia

Please do not misunderstand...
I'm not want to humiliate you nor him...
I'm not want to break you two off...
This is my point of view...
I try to protect you from them who bullies you...
This is for the special ones in my heart including you...
Maybe my wording are sarcastic but I'm no harm...
No other meaning that means to hurt you...
I'm just worry about you...
Remember that!
I will stay right beside you...
I made my promise before, now, and forever...

A Dream

That day I went to Pavillion with my family...
At Tokyo Street I saw someone looks alike him...
My heartbeat pound so fast... and hoping not him...
Luckily not him... Fuhhh...
Cause I saw that guy with his gf holding hands...
If that day the guy is him...
I sure I do not know how to face him... >.<

Today I take nap... and I had a dream...
Its so real... really so real...
Maybe this is dream is what I wanted in my reality life...
My house mate being so friendly with me like last time...
The sharing of their laugh with me...
The best ever is that kiss... with him...
I can't saw him face in my dream...
But I can feel that the way he kisses me last time...

A few days holiday with my family...
Let me feel peace and feel good...
So peace + happy... Thanks mummy!

闷

很闷~
我的心情有点... -DOWN-
不知道为什么!
很想找人聊一聊，可是又不懂要聊什么...
找不到人来跟我聊... 也许我只想和他聊吧...
很想找个地方躲此来！或者就disappear就算了！
我很闷... 真的很闷...
我的人生真无聊~
很想找一些有意义的东西来做...
但要有人乐意陪我一起做还可以...

如果，你问我, 你快乐吗？
我会答你... 我不快乐...
我恨KL的生活, 这里的生活很累，无聊...
每一天都只等这一天一天的过...
一天一天的过， 还是一样的闷！
Just hate those repeating daily boring routine
and facing those fake people in my life...
I'm tired really tired...

因为，拥有就是失去的开始！！！

I agree with this statement...
"所以我们要好好地珍惜"

LoL~ Today I don't know what wrong with my mind...
So so many thing to look back my memories...

Weirdo!
I can play games together with thinking and then suddenly I'll smiling by myself...
Just suddenly smiling by myself... LoL~ (people don't know thought I'm crazy)
Later, I watch a Taiwan drama "我可能不会爱你"
Sound like an interesting movie...
And I can got some message from this drama...
One of it is this title...
But it's true!
So that why people always said "Appreciate the things around you!"

PS: 其实我很想拥有你，但是我跟怕失去你！所以... better we remain 'Friend' this relationship... So I can have you!

我不知道我想要得是什么？

Do I need him?
The answer is...
He entered my life...
He gave me memories, happy and sad memories...
Sometimes...
I just think back the moment we together...
Although we did not snap a photo together, I actually snap it each of the moment with him in my mind and heart.
I misses his warm hand, his lips, his warm hug, his heart beat and his smell...
I misses all of that...
The way he always look at me with a smiling face whenever I looked at him...
All of it, is just... I don't want to let it go yet... I'm not willing to do it...
I still hoping a chance... Just a chance!
But life with or without him...
I doesn't affect much to me...
So, do I need him?
I'm keep on asking myself this question...
I didn't answer it...
If can be together again is perfect!
If can't, just back to friendship... but does he can do that?

Ignoring

Every time when I'm...
Scare
Lonely
Sad
I will just plug in my earphones in my ear...
I just want to filter the outer world voices...
I seem like to be in my own world...
That why I love to be in my dream...
No one cares no one disturb just so peacefully so happy~
I realise that, I become silence more than before...
Sometime talk more, wrong more...
(I just really can't find anyone who understand me)
You think I'm tough!!! Sorry I'm NOT!!!
I just pretend to be tough!

Should be Happy or Sad?

Should I be Happy or Sad?
This year birthday...
I think I'm quite lonely...

Even though my classmate come out on that day go watch movie "Don't be afraid of dark" then go Nando and eat our lunch with Siew Theng, Au Yong See, and also Jun Hing(the person who call a set and share, and he paid for it) Generally he is pay for me as my birthday present... LoL~ Siew Theng, Au Yong See and Kai Ling share and buy 2 T-shirt from FOS as my birthday present... which one of it is what I wanted to buy last time... hehehe...

At night, Jerric bought me to eat shabu shabu at Kuchai Lama if not mistaken... Each person also cost RM31.80... and we eat with a bit rush... cause the next day he need to work morning shift and need to get up very early... After eat, we went in the car... I got a surprise... He bought me a piece of cake from Pain de Gourmet, Sun Moulin, a chocolate cake... Yummy!!! and it really surprising me... I thought this year I couldn't eat any cake for my own birthday... I'm very happy that day he spend time for my birthday yet got surprise some more... hehehe...
(Jerric is the one who cerebrate on my birthday... yet not my sister) but is Ok she have send a message to me is already enough =(

At that day, actually I have already plan to celebrate with my friends on the day time and at night time, I wanted to celebrate with Ken... I already asked him to come out that day but I cancel it... because I have some cough on that day so I don't wan to let him see my sick face and spread virus to him... I misses him so much... Some disappointed that I couldn't met him that day... and... He did not want to wish me although I already told him that day was my birthday... =(

As for my bestie, she told me that she had bought a present to me... I'm so curious + excited to know what she bought for my birthday present... So So Curious!!!
(Sorry for that... I didn't bring that hp to college that day... if not I can meet you that day =( I misses you so much too...)

Ya... This year many friends wish me through sms and facebook... Well I'm a bit happy with it... I just hope -People who I care, remember me, care for me, wish me, and of course I hope they spend some time cerebrate with me-
(but none of my house mate wishes me... I think the facebook have a notification on it... yet not receiving one wishes from them... just only Hui Hui wishes me)

But this year really not in the mood to have celebration... cause of many assignment and coursework bordering me... that affect my mood... So conclusion I also do not know whether to be happy or not...

Feeling disturbance

How to do?
What should I do?
Today I study stress in Mr. Peter class...
I think I really facing stress seriously...
I'm facing mostly mentally stress...
This fucking environment really makes me feel so disturbance~
Why do I would mind of this? Actually it is NON OF MY BUSINESS...
I don't know why... I care about this stupid things...
How should end up all these things!!!
Could anyone teach me?

What was in my mind???
memories of my relationship with him...
house mate matters...
class mate doubt of my work ability...

This all stupid things should not be border me!
I try my best to be what I am...
I try to not cares about others sees me!
BUT~
It really make me stress~
I have become so sensitive... Recently!
Even though they are talking about others, but I think they are talking about me!
If this is in the long term, I'm probably will face MENTALLY BREAKDOWN!

Hope this all disturbance will end soon!

Think about it !

Sorry to say that~
Don't know in what ways...
I will say... I'm pretty...
Yes! I'm pretty!!!
That need to thanks to my mummy and daddy...
A handsome guy married with a most prettiest girl in the world...
That born two little pretty princess... LOL~

Actually depends on how you become pretty...
First, Outer part...
That are dressing and make up
Next, Inner part...
Attitude and Behaviour...
An ugly personality can destroy a pretty face...
A person who has a good personality, will eventually looks pretty in such a way...
CONFIDENCE...
With confidence everything will works~
That should be everyone have... =)

Think about it!

BYE !!!

Bye is a very common word...
HELLO and BYE BYE!
I love HELLO...
Cause someone enter to my life~
But I hate BYE BYE the most!
For me BYE means...
Losing of someone...
Someone who cares about me...
Someone who came in my life and leave me...
Please do not say BYE to me...
I don't want the person who I care...
Leave me !!!

Fuck off

Damn you!!!
You think who you are!
Fuck off bitch!

I already let you all to wash all ur clothes,
Only I wash... Now I one week only wash once because of you all...
Can't you be more tolerate... you only wan to wash your mattress...
Yet you scold me... FUCK YOU... Wait for your turn la....
You lament you work until 10pm and you're tired... So...
You can't go to bath while waiting I wash the 3rd round...
And after one hour you still sitting down and play ur laptop and haven't bath....
And tell me you're tired!!! DAMN YOU~

If others house mate are the one who using...
See you dare to scold them anot...
I think you just like a little kitten...
Damn you...

You're always in my heart

First of all, THANKS TO KEN~
You gave me such a sweet memory...

Because of your left,
I learnt a lesson...
You teaches me many many things within a week...

Because of you,
I saw my the another part of myself...
I started to improve myself more...
You had bright my life awhile then...

Life had to go on without you...
It is tough for me...
Searching for the light...
Searching for myself in the dark... bit by bit~

I will always remember you inside my heart...
Lastly, I Love You <3

I'm AFRAID~ (TT~TT)

First of all I'm really sorry...
That I always send those kind of message to you....
That was because I really miss you....
I couldn't stop ......
I lost control...
Yes I admit!
I do still have the feeling...
To be with you!
I'm afraid to lost you...
Even though, I lost our relationship...
But I don't want our friendship also couldn't make it...
I know I'm annoying... I'm irritating....(of those stuff)
Sorry just want to keep in touch with you...
Just want to keep close relationship with you...
Sorry~ and please don't ignore me...
Please forgive me...

累了！！！

Many of my friends call me to give up for such of sucks guy... I can't make decision to let go of him and forget him and became back to friendship... At first when we just broke up, I miss him so so much... but now lesser... but still... Every morning I woke up I will think of him, the memory between us, (1 week memory only)... Sometimes will 傻笑...

I don't know what are he thinking about... Wanted to ask him... Am I really no chance anymore? Have you miss me?... I really should or shouldn't wait for him??? Can't put down this 3 weeks memory and feeling but now already 2 months from the day we break off... But one thing for sure... I will never cry because of you....... !!!

Maybe what my good friend told me is right and just me myself don't want to accept it! I blind my eyes... I close my ears and heart... to escape from the truth... I don't want to accept the truth even though I promise him 'if he does not want back to the relationship' I will respect his decision and must let go...him...

Question mark ' ? '

The first answer for all question for myself is 'idk'

How to become better to communicate with others?
Ans: Idk...

What kind of person / personality I want to be?
Ans: Idk...

What style I want?
Ans: Idk... I don't have any confidence on any style... I prefer to be sporty or elegance...

What kind of guys I like?
Ans: Idk... have once in a relationship(3weeks) but not really satisfied with what I want... I know there is nobody can be perfect...

What kind of future life you want?
Ans: Idk... but not to be too rich nor poor... Just simple and happy life...

And many many question more... for now I thinking of these few question...
Sorry girls... I need a break... to find myself back... I think I have lost something in myself... need to find it back... I realise I'm not who I'm last time... I had change to the worst... I already forgotten my principle that I use to remind myself last time...

Now I love to go to Mr. Peter class... maybe in his class I can found somehow to be better and found back myself and also he inspire me to have a better life and create a vision for the future...

In this 6 month period I'm so so sorry for all my bestie... I'm busying on working and also think to get more money to get what stuff I wanted to buy... I don't want any more to get money from my parent to buy any unnecessary thing...

Ur mother fucking didn't teach u ar???

Damn la... today after work we a group of staff Sembonia walk to LRT got Me, Keong, Keong's brother and his friend (Chee Seng), Apple, and Kenny... total of us is 6 people... Keong and his friend walk in front so we just chase up at the back...

Suddenly, I saw Keong and his friend walk backward and then they got beaten by a group of kids around 16 and above and fight each others... there are about 5 to 7 people... I had a shock and do not know what to do so I just shout 'That enough' the stop for a few minute and then start again beat them.... Keong got hit back and his friend did not... I wanted to help them but I didn't know how to help... Keong one people hit 3 kids there and his brother also got help him... Keong defense himself and push the one of the smallest size kids fell down on the floor...Then they fight up again... Apple and I drag Keong and Chee Seng away and told them not to fight...

And those kids still wan to walk near to us to fight and I just shout 'What do you want?' and they start fight again... This time Chee Seng got beaten more serious... the red t-shirt hit his ear, eye and the white t-shirt kick his stomach then Chee Seng fell down and he got scratches on his hand and his spec spoil... Luckily got a malay guy helped us... then we just stopped the fight... and we hold Chee Seng to LRT station...

Then I asked Keong, 'where is ur brother'? He said to me maybe he is at LRT... I just worried that his brother is still at the in front of the Pudu Jail with the kids fighting... After we reach LRT we saw Kenny is there... and then we ask Kenny where is Keong's brother??? then say many thing and I don't understand what is he talking about same as Keong... then Keong went out from the LRT station and find his brother... Apple and Chee Seng also when back 1st... I also walk back out from the LRT station and find his brother... Keong called his family and ask for his brother hp number by using my hp... because his hp is out of battery... Finally feel more relieve because his brother is safe... he already went back... Keong called his brother that time, his brother already in the LRT...

I don't understand what wrong with those kids??? so late still don't want to go back and sleep... come out and a gang of foolish kids and simply hit people without reason YOU THINK YOU ARE SO 'YENG' AR??? DAMN MOTHER FUCKING!!!

Gonna have a feeling

I don't care anymore!!!
As long as my study goes well is more important!!!
I wan to be a pretty girl
I wan to have a boy friend
I wan to have distinction on my study
I wan my sister , my mom and my grandmother live comfortable

That why I go for work...
To slim down XD muahahhaa
To know more friends
To earn more pocket money so I can buy thing for my family or gave them pocket money...

Love you all muacks XOXO

Third part time job + Problem

Many thing happen in these two weeks time work...

First I'm glad Wei Jia accompany me work at SOGO for one week, and felt sorry to her let her sleep on the floor for one week and also my house mate attitude... SORRY!

Second is I also do not know what have I done wrong? Can anyone tell me what is going on?

I think these is god gave me a challenge to face with it... but I choose to ran away from the problem... just pretend everything is fine!!!

Next is my family problem...
My dad is planning not to give me to go on study... He called me yesterday when I was at Times Square... He asked me whether my college got night class a not? That mean he call me work at the morning and at night go to class... He hint me many times that he does not have money to let me further study... But this is not my fault is all your own fault... because you had choose the way you wan!!!

Broga Hill

On the April 4th, 2011, I finally manage to go out with my few friend to go hiking... It is a really really good and fun experience... We take care each other while hiking and we also manage to have a team work until the top of the hill and when went down from the slippering hill...

Thanks for the organizer Jun Hing let me have the opportunity to have the good experience... and also the other take care of our safety... Wan Seng(kuso), Henry, Kah Wei, Jun Hing... and also my accompany Michelle and ah Lai...

It is really fun day although it is muscle already ache after hiking and all of our cloth with mud... Hope got other fun day with them next time although later we all will separate because of the Degree Courses... Hope we can have this type of event again...

Rush month

All assignment make me so rush...
Actually I'm so lazy to do it...
Luckily my friends and lecturer help me so much while doing these all assignment...
Such as Pn. Azreen help me in Intro in Business, it have to pass up at 16 March 2011 and it is given two weeks before the due date...
As for account, Mrs Lim's gave us the assignment before CNY and the due date at 25 March 2011 and it has given 5 weeks to finish it... but I finish it at the last week before the due date...
In the middle of those assignment the Economy lecturer Ms Komala, sound like 'Koala'... she gave us 3 question to choose... For this assignment actually I din't do much in it... I just copy and paste from the internet that what I got it... Thanks to my group leader Yen Yee help us to correct our assignment... For this subject I don't really make much effort in it...

Thanks for all of ur help!!!

WISHES

I have many wishes... and most of my wishes are really granted... All I do is...I just pray hard to GOD... and it's really granted... by the way I'll also put some effort on it... I don't just waiting for the durian drop... There is no free lunch for you(in chinese)...

Chao! Hope ur wish will granted soon...

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day have a story do you know it?
I know most of my friend now are couple... and I'm still remain single... Valentine's Day for this year I hope something miracle will happen to me... Just hope... Some day the GOD to grant my wishes... The GOD will give the best for me...I believe...

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Fic Sem 2 Result!!!

My CGPA have drop to 0.02...

This time I got:
A for Quantitative Methods
A- for Academic English
A- for Accounting 2
(For this I really have not enough time to do but is unbelievable I got an A-)
B for Malaysian Study
(I never get this grade before for my Sejarah)
C+ for Economics 2

2nd Day of Chinese New Year

Have a great reunion time at Joey's house~

E.F industries

Ya is a 3rd part time job I work... It is a fair for 'ORIGINAL' dvd is at Pandan Jaya... I work from 20th to 23rd of January... Is quite tired to work at fair because I need to work for 12 hours a day - 30 minute break for the lunch and dinner break each = 11 hours each day I need to work mean standing there... This company have sell all anime cartoon and also china movie... It is super very cheap... but I didn't manage to buy a single one because I forgotten to bring money...

At there I know some new friend that is Daniel a friendly guy, sook fong quite nice but seem like her colleague does not like her so much, lavinia, Ken or ah kit, Bensen, one more malay guy but dono his name... some others friendly colleague I had chat with them like Nikki, Jimm, Micheal, ah Huat, and some others that I do not know their name...

Thanks for Daniel always help me when I do not know how to answer the customers and also Ken...

Although it is quite tired to work there, I'm still happy to know them especially Daniel, the Ipoh guy always entertain me...^^