Currently I'm very depressing and very unstable emotion...
I'm very confusing on what I want!
No one could understand and could talk too...
All I know the surrounding people will just give me comfort and just says "don't think so much"
I want advise, interpreting, analysis. (although, not even 50% I will follow, I just want a feedback on my current issue) Maybe I go to the wrong person who never had a relationship before or they are having such a loving life...
I really want relationship, who always have someone care about me, try to understand me, pampered me, calm me down, accompany me up and always there for me...
In a month or two my relationship always ended up with full stop.
I always having a short term relationship but I enjoyed most of the relationship (thanks all for creating memories together)
After a few weeks in a relationship, I will reconsider other factor on him (the requirement) such as:
- Does him hardworking?
- How high is his education level?
- Can he afford my expenses?
- Can I accept all his principle and bad attitudes?
- Does he really loves me? (just for confirm that he never regrets to accept me!)
Most of the time I'm being scared.
Someone treating me too good or I have been forgotten (by not finding me more than 2 days)
When someone is treating me too good, I'm afraid the next moment in a minute or two all had gone and nightmare is coming. Next, my mind will automatically think a lot of assumption or if things. (So guys always let your girl know where is her position and let her know how important is she for you although it is annoying, it is the best way for your girl to stop thinking a lot)
When I'm scare, I will start to let go so no one will be hurt as our relationship is just started.
Maybe in the short period it is hurt but it must be end.
I'm a very selfish girl and this is my self protection for not getting hurt.
That is the reason each time I end my what so ever "ship" (friend or relation)
Recently I'm feeling bad bad bad...
I feel like I'm the destroyer.
Although is our relationship is over or temporary over (confuse), I'm still feel bad deep inside me.
I have many WHY question in my head to ask but I do not dare to ask...
What happening over there? You never want to give me a proper answer.
Just let me guessing and guessing over here. Endless...
Feeling breathless. I try to not think about it but I couldn't.
Wish to end this up as soon as possible.
