A Dream

That day I went to Pavillion with my family...
At Tokyo Street I saw someone looks alike him...
My heartbeat pound so fast... and hoping not him...
Luckily not him... Fuhhh...
Cause I saw that guy with his gf holding hands...
If that day the guy is him...
I sure I do not know how to face him... >.<

Today I take nap... and I had a dream...
Its so real... really so real...
Maybe this is dream is what I wanted in my reality life...
My house mate being so friendly with me like last time...
The sharing of their laugh with me...
The best ever is that kiss... with him...
I can't saw him face in my dream...
But I can feel that the way he kisses me last time...

A few days holiday with my family...
Let me feel peace and feel good...
So peace + happy... Thanks mummy!

闷

很闷~
我的心情有点... -DOWN-
不知道为什么!
很想找人聊一聊，可是又不懂要聊什么...
找不到人来跟我聊... 也许我只想和他聊吧...
很想找个地方躲此来！或者就disappear就算了！
我很闷... 真的很闷...
我的人生真无聊~
很想找一些有意义的东西来做...
但要有人乐意陪我一起做还可以...

如果，你问我, 你快乐吗？
我会答你... 我不快乐...
我恨KL的生活, 这里的生活很累，无聊...
每一天都只等这一天一天的过...
一天一天的过， 还是一样的闷！
Just hate those repeating daily boring routine
and facing those fake people in my life...
I'm tired really tired...

因为，拥有就是失去的开始！！！

I agree with this statement...
"所以我们要好好地珍惜"

LoL~ Today I don't know what wrong with my mind...
So so many thing to look back my memories...

Weirdo!
I can play games together with thinking and then suddenly I'll smiling by myself...
Just suddenly smiling by myself... LoL~ (people don't know thought I'm crazy)
Later, I watch a Taiwan drama "我可能不会爱你"
Sound like an interesting movie...
And I can got some message from this drama...
One of it is this title...
But it's true!
So that why people always said "Appreciate the things around you!"

PS: 其实我很想拥有你，但是我跟怕失去你！所以... better we remain 'Friend' this relationship... So I can have you!

我不知道我想要得是什么？

Do I need him?
The answer is...
He entered my life...
He gave me memories, happy and sad memories...
Sometimes...
I just think back the moment we together...
Although we did not snap a photo together, I actually snap it each of the moment with him in my mind and heart.
I misses his warm hand, his lips, his warm hug, his heart beat and his smell...
I misses all of that...
The way he always look at me with a smiling face whenever I looked at him...
All of it, is just... I don't want to let it go yet... I'm not willing to do it...
I still hoping a chance... Just a chance!
But life with or without him...
I doesn't affect much to me...
So, do I need him?
I'm keep on asking myself this question...
I didn't answer it...
If can be together again is perfect!
If can't, just back to friendship... but does he can do that?

Ignoring

Every time when I'm...
Scare
Lonely
Sad
I will just plug in my earphones in my ear...
I just want to filter the outer world voices...
I seem like to be in my own world...
That why I love to be in my dream...
No one cares no one disturb just so peacefully so happy~
I realise that, I become silence more than before...
Sometime talk more, wrong more...
(I just really can't find anyone who understand me)
You think I'm tough!!! Sorry I'm NOT!!!
I just pretend to be tough!

Should be Happy or Sad?

Should I be Happy or Sad?
This year birthday...
I think I'm quite lonely...

Even though my classmate come out on that day go watch movie "Don't be afraid of dark" then go Nando and eat our lunch with Siew Theng, Au Yong See, and also Jun Hing(the person who call a set and share, and he paid for it) Generally he is pay for me as my birthday present... LoL~ Siew Theng, Au Yong See and Kai Ling share and buy 2 T-shirt from FOS as my birthday present... which one of it is what I wanted to buy last time... hehehe...

At night, Jerric bought me to eat shabu shabu at Kuchai Lama if not mistaken... Each person also cost RM31.80... and we eat with a bit rush... cause the next day he need to work morning shift and need to get up very early... After eat, we went in the car... I got a surprise... He bought me a piece of cake from Pain de Gourmet, Sun Moulin, a chocolate cake... Yummy!!! and it really surprising me... I thought this year I couldn't eat any cake for my own birthday... I'm very happy that day he spend time for my birthday yet got surprise some more... hehehe...
(Jerric is the one who cerebrate on my birthday... yet not my sister) but is Ok she have send a message to me is already enough =(

At that day, actually I have already plan to celebrate with my friends on the day time and at night time, I wanted to celebrate with Ken... I already asked him to come out that day but I cancel it... because I have some cough on that day so I don't wan to let him see my sick face and spread virus to him... I misses him so much... Some disappointed that I couldn't met him that day... and... He did not want to wish me although I already told him that day was my birthday... =(

As for my bestie, she told me that she had bought a present to me... I'm so curious + excited to know what she bought for my birthday present... So So Curious!!!
(Sorry for that... I didn't bring that hp to college that day... if not I can meet you that day =( I misses you so much too...)

Ya... This year many friends wish me through sms and facebook... Well I'm a bit happy with it... I just hope -People who I care, remember me, care for me, wish me, and of course I hope they spend some time cerebrate with me-
(but none of my house mate wishes me... I think the facebook have a notification on it... yet not receiving one wishes from them... just only Hui Hui wishes me)

But this year really not in the mood to have celebration... cause of many assignment and coursework bordering me... that affect my mood... So conclusion I also do not know whether to be happy or not...

Feeling disturbance

How to do?
What should I do?
Today I study stress in Mr. Peter class...
I think I really facing stress seriously...
I'm facing mostly mentally stress...
This fucking environment really makes me feel so disturbance~
Why do I would mind of this? Actually it is NON OF MY BUSINESS...
I don't know why... I care about this stupid things...
How should end up all these things!!!
Could anyone teach me?

What was in my mind???
memories of my relationship with him...
house mate matters...
class mate doubt of my work ability...

This all stupid things should not be border me!
I try my best to be what I am...
I try to not cares about others sees me!
BUT~
It really make me stress~
I have become so sensitive... Recently!
Even though they are talking about others, but I think they are talking about me!
If this is in the long term, I'm probably will face MENTALLY BREAKDOWN!

Hope this all disturbance will end soon!