How to know that person really suit you?

Hey Bloggie,

Currently I'm very depressing and very unstable emotion...
I'm very confusing on what I want!
No one could understand and could talk too...
All I know the surrounding people will just give me comfort and just says "don't think so much"
I want advise, interpreting, analysis. (although, not even 50% I will follow, I just want a feedback on my current issue) Maybe I go to the wrong person who never had a relationship before or they are having such a loving life...

I really want relationship, who always have someone care about me, try to understand me, pampered me, calm me down, accompany me up and always there for me...
In a month or two my relationship always ended up with full stop.
I always having a short term relationship but I enjoyed most of the relationship (thanks all for creating memories together)
After a few weeks in a relationship, I will reconsider other factor on him (the requirement) such as:

1. Does him hardworking?
2. How high is his education level?
3. Can he afford my expenses?
4. Can I accept all his principle and bad attitudes?
5. Does he really loves me? (just for confirm that he never regrets to accept me!)

This is what normally in my mind for now!

Most of the time I'm being scared.
Someone treating me too good or I have been forgotten (by not finding me more than 2 days)
When someone is treating me too good, I'm afraid the next moment in a minute or two all had gone and nightmare is coming. Next, my mind will automatically think a lot of assumption or if things. (So guys always let your girl know where is her position and let her know how important is she for you although it is annoying, it is the best way for your girl to stop thinking a lot)
When I'm scare, I will start to let go so no one will be hurt as our relationship is just started.
Maybe in the short period it is hurt but it must be end.
I'm a very selfish girl and this is my self protection for not getting hurt.
That is the reason each time I end my what so ever "ship" (friend or relation)

Recently I'm feeling bad bad bad...
I feel like I'm the destroyer.
Although is our relationship is over or temporary over (confuse), I'm still feel bad deep inside me.
I have many WHY question in my head to ask but I do not dare to ask...
What happening over there? You never want to give me a proper answer.
Just let me guessing and guessing over here. Endless...
Feeling breathless. I try to not think about it but I couldn't.
Wish to end this up as soon as possible.

Exercise

Darn!
I really need to start my exercise!
Actually I love sports very much
But I don't do it alone
I would prefer someone accompany me to do exercise or some sport activities...
It's fun though!
Not really can have a group activities and get to know each others more...
I really loves it!
Although I'm shy at the beginning, I would like someone to lead me and encourage me.
So that I wouldn't be shy to let others know I'm bad with it...
But even though I don't know how to play, I would like to start with a try!
Never Try, Never Know!

Now and always my little boy

Some words from him ...
I hold her hand because I need to let her know I can be trusted and I will bring her more happiness.
I hug her because I wan to let her know how warm to her from my side.
I kisses her because I want to let her know and pass my love to her. 

Girls, look at those words!
Do you feel the heart melts??
This is one of guy I met
But he is currently unavailable.
Hard to explains those things (just ignore)
Because he is unavailable, 
I don't really earn any of the chances to like or love him.
Even though he does has some feeling with me.

P/s: I like those words so much and I like him too 

He is my surprise or a gift from God who really cares for me.
Too bad he is unavailable. But I'm a bad girl.
I took risk to continue with him and I left someone who really loves me.
From my friends opinions, some says choose the younger one, some says dump both.
I'm very selfish and greedy girl! I love peoples around cares about me.
I would like to hold them both at the same time.

My little boy,
I choose you at last.
I like how you treat me like a princess.
I like how care for me and respect me.
But honestly I feel your hearts still with ... 
If someday you decide to do anything, please tell me...
I will respect your decision no matter how!
Now I try my best to love you and care for you
But I don't know how and what should I do?

Confusing

What a joke! 

It seem like my couple life season is on this month ...

Looking back for past two years, it is also June!

When I started my relationship with someone...

However, I always end it on July... (sad case)

I do not know how to manage a relationship...

When I was a kid... 

I want my life like a fairy tale story... Awww...

When I was a teenager...

I wan my life like TV love story drama... Hurmmm....

Now, I don't know what I want... Feeling lost!

I don't even know what I want...

I think I'm lonely? or desperate? or afraid?

Feeling guilty if I accepted you...

Because now u maybe is just a substitute of him...

And I'm sure now my decision is I want him...

But I don't know he also have the same feel with me?

For you I don't want to lose any chance...

If I accept you, I will not be play with ur heart...

At the same time, I feel sorry for him and him

The another him is I had a promise that is "I will wait for him looking me back"

Sorry and please give me some time...

Special video from Evelyn

谢谢你崇恩为我们做了一部slide
他的第一个作品，
我当场看了真的有感动，
想回很多我们在一起的回忆!

Special thanks to Evelyn Liow

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151555765962432&set=o.127839157288871&type=2&theater

（I couldn't download the video here, there is a link only =P)

The Dream is REAL

Today post is still related to dreaming.
One of my favourite English movie "INCEPTION"
What the movie mention about,
I totally agreed with them.

Dream in a dream,
It goes deeper and deeper

Sometime it will become real in the future
'The Dream is REAL!"

Missing answer dream

Dreaming is always my hobby...
Is it a day dream or sleeping mode dream?
Most probably I love both...
Day dream is some kind of conscious thinking
Dreaming of your future partner, carrier, achievement and many more...
Just like a picture flashing in your mind one by one and it goes as you want.
For your information,
When your are sleeping and your mind goes on work, dreaming,
This time, it is just like a reality,
We are out of control,
Of time, place and who is the person with
As for myself, I can feel,
The hurt of pain, sensitivity, emotion and everything.

This time I just want to share with you all is
I don't know this dream is it connected with him?
Or it is my mind asking me to let go.
I know I'm stubborn
And I don't know why even I had an answer he is not my future,
But I still want to try out for the second time.
In the dream, we met at a place (it looks like old town) to have a drink and chit chating,
After we talk so much and he told me
"He does still loving me and always be but we both cannot be together,
(He cries and said it to me)
My reply is
"We really can't go back together like last time?"
He haven't got to answer my question and then I woke up already.
I try to sleep back to connect that dream but I fails...
There the answer was missing for so long that I wanted to know badly...
Maybe sometimes we don't know anything rather than everything.